There are
reasons galore why men pull wool over the eyes of their wives. Oftentimes, it's
out of spite and neglect, while the other times, it's because they feel they
will never be caught.
What
makes men cheat? Dr Kamal Khurana, relationship counselor, dug through past
research on male infidelity, and has even counseled couples and has arrived at
the conclusion that most answers are from the wife's point of view. Here, some
of his findings:
1.
Disturbance in the marriage as the primary reason
When
there are regular fights at home with his wife, which are left unresolved, a
pattern sets in wherein he continues to be unhappy and 'disturbed'. In this
kind of a scenario, either he can fight or he can flee. When he looks for an
affair, he is looking to flee from dealing with the issues in the marriage, and
be comfortable with that 'other person'. It is telling oneself that the
problems do not affect anyone and life can continue in a better way with a
parallel support.
2.
Cheating men report boredom led to the affair
Some men
may find the routine of a married life to be tedious and dull. These men find
it easier to shift dominance or primacy to another relationship and feel the
spark outside to be a thrilling option; instead of finding ways of charging
their marriage. It becomes present moment for gratification versus the hard job
that they will have to do in their marriage to resolve an issue. The
extra-marital relationship provides them with a readymade and fresh experience,
which is appealing enough to take the risk.
3.
Cheating men love to experiment sexually
Sex has
always been and will always be an integral part of a marriage. While some men
are quite content spending the rest of their lives having sex with the same
wife for many years, others prefer to experiment more as a need, rather than as
an option. They want to sleep with many women, many times, and therefore do not
think twice before an extra-marital alliance. It perhaps makes them feel
sexually powerful and more adept than others.
4.
Cheating men are emotionally dissatisfied
When
their wives are too busy with their own lives, working or bringing up children
or even looking after in-laws and parents, emotionally, men are left high and
dry. But men are emotionally driven beings too. They want their wives to show
them that they're appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard
they're trying to get things right. Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a
pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked.
Sometimes the couple may not be compatible so however much the wife may do, the
man will always find something to complain about.
It may
also happen that the woman he cheats with is his co-worker or boss, someone who
praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts. That's another
reason why it's so critical that he feel valued at home.
5.
Cheating men have a history of EMR
Some men,
in their childhood, may have witnessed cheating in their parent's marriage.
This somewhere gives them a message that it is okay to cheat, even though deep
inside they know this is wrong. All of us learn from our parents, so taking the
risk is good enough. This acquired learning also happens through cheating
resorts taken by elder siblings, neighbours, peer group and everybody who has
been impacted. Sometimes as teenagers and young adults, some men have had
multiple relationships, these men either intentionally or accidentally end up
going back to their ex-girlfriends. The other lot goes back to their past style
of having multiple relationships. It is well said, what a mind thinks,
achieves. So there are females also who are either consciously or unconsciously
looking for such men.
6.
Cheating men have wives who cheat
Men also
take revenge with their cheating wives, by having multiple relationships
themselves. Even if their wives are guilty and come accept their extra-marital
relationships, some men continue with their tricks. This is mostly done by men
who don't want to forgive their spouses.
7.
Cheating men think it to be 'divorce'
Some men
are willfully adulterous and use it as a means for acquiring divorce. The law
also considers adultery as a fair ground for the wife to seek a divorce. The
man is cheating openly and is in a non-receptive mood, taking the wife's
feelings of frustration to an all-time high. Although this percentage is less
but it is there.
8.
Cheating men need to be needed
When men
feel that they are not needed by their wife anymore, they look out for some
other woman, who can understand them and make them feel special. As an obvious
outcome of a new relationship, they get that feeling from the other woman. And
suddenly when they are showered with attention, which they haven't received in
a very long time in their marriage, they toss their hands in the air and get
deep into the new hot and happening relationship.
Source;
Times Of India.
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